Support Your Right To Arm Bears.

The National Park Service Shot A Mule In The Face. He Survived But Had Trouble Swallowing And Often Food Came Out Of His Nose.

It Suddenly Dawned On Me One Day, When I Was Reading In The Paper About A Woman Wrestler, That Being A Curmudgeon Was The Last Thing In The World That A Man Can Be That A Woman Cannot Be. Women Can Be Irritating -- After All, They Are Women -- But They Cannot Be Curmudgeons.

You Cannot Expect Everything Even From The Friendliest Cat. It Is Still A Cat.

I've Always Had A Sneaking Fondness For Martin Van Buren. He Wrote His Autobiography, You Know, And Never Once Mentioned His Wife. Now That's What I Call A Mans Man.

There Were Three Terrible Ages Of Childhood - Zero To 10, 10 To 20, And 20 To 30.