Take Me Down To The Bar! We'll

Marriage Is Better Than Leprosy Only Because It's Easier To Get Rid Of.

Drown In A Cold Vat Of Whiskey? Death, Where Is Thy Sting?

Alcoholic: Anybody Who Drinks More Than I Do.

I Once Donated A Pint Of My Finest Red Corpuscles To The Great American Red Cross And The Doctor Opined My Blood Was Very Helpful; Contained So Much Alcohol They Could Use It To Sterilize Their Instruments.

Wouldn't It Be Terrible If I Quoted Some Reliable Statistics Which Prove That More People Are Driven Insane Through Religious Hysteria Than By Drinking Alcohol.