Scotch Needs Water Like A Fish Needs

A Man Who's Intoxicated All The Time Doesn't Need Sympathy.

I Don't Know Why I Ever Come In Here. The Flies Get The Best Of Everything.

I Personally Stay Away From Natural Foods. At My Age I Need All The Preservatives I Can Get.

You Can't Cheat An Honest Man.

I Feel Like A Midget With Muddy Feet Had Been Walking Over My Tongue All Night.