...the Elephant Smoked Too Much.

It (the Double-clarinet In India) Was Primarily Used For Snake Charming, Since The Snake Would Do Almost Anything To Get The Indians To Stop Playing It.

When An Opera Star Sings Her Head Off? She Usually Improves Her Appearance.

Read (this Book), Smile, Enjoy, And If You Happen To Learn Something Along The Way, Don't Get Upset.

When I Was A Little Boy And Played Liebestraum, My Father Used To Hit Me On The Head With A Newspaper Every Time I Slopped The Cadenza . . . I Hate Liebestraum.

Mendelssohn Never Wrote Any Water Music. However, He Wrote The Scotch Symphony, Which Is Even Better, Or At Least Stronger.