The Little Boy Inside Of All Us

When Somebody Says I Wouldn't Change A Thing They're Thinking Of Something They Would Change.

I Was Being Chased By A Giant Crab. That's Not Funny.

Teach Your Kids To Make Deplorable Choices And Hopefully They'll Rebel And Make The Right Ones.

The Whole Thing With Comedy Is That You Are Always In Control. Writer, Director, Actor, Producer, And Sometimes Bouncer. And You Are Just A Piece Of Their Puzzle.

I Was Told By A Girl Once That I Should Teach A Course On How To Kiss Properly. I Thought That Was Really A Nice Compliment. I Then Asked Her What She Thought About My Sexual Prowess And She Recommended I Talk To A Guy She Used To Date. Body Blow.