The Most Used Appliance In Our House

He Was Born Early. But He Was Born Within A Safe Range Of Premature.

Over The Years, There Certainly Have Been Plenty Of Ideas That I've Had And Given Up On, But For This One, The Only Thing That Was Standing In Its Way Was Me Doing It - I Just Had To Write It... And Then If It Didn't Happen, It Didn't Happen. But I Didn't Want It To Be For Lack Of Effort On My Part, So I Had Hunch That It Would Be A Good Story And That We Would Work Well Together. And It Certainly Worked Out That Way.

That's The Nice Thing About Doing Stand-up. There's No Development, You Just Go Out There And Get An Immediate Response As To Whether Something Is Good Or Bad. Getting A Laugh Is The Best Measure Of How Well You're Doing.

Three Has Always Been Tougher Than Two. Think Of Any Of Your Famous Threesomes. The Three Stooges? Look At The Anger There. My Bet Is That Before Curly Was Born, Moe And Larry Could Play Together For Hours Without Even A Single Poke In The Eye. Huey, Dewey, And Louie? Donald Duck Never Had A Moment's Peace. The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly? I Rest My Case.

People Often Ask Me, "what's The Difference Between Couplehood And Babyhood?" In A Word? Moisture. Everything In My Life Is Now More Moist. Between Your Spittle, Your Diapers, Your Spit-up And Drool, You Got Your Baby Food, Your Wipes, Your Formula, Your Leaky Bottles, Sweaty Baby Backs, And Numerous Other Untraceable Sources-all Creating An Ever-present Moistness In My Life, Which Heretofore Was Mainly Dry.