The Only Thing Money Gives You Is

Only Lie About The Future.

Ronald Reagan Just Signed The New Tax Law. But I Think He Was In Hollywood Too Long. He Signed It, 'best Wishes, Ronald Reagan.'

You Become Successful, The Way I See It, Only If You're Good Enough To Deliver What The Public Enjoys. If You're Not, You Won't Have Any Audience; So The Performer Really Has More To Do With His Success Than The Public Does.

I Wouldn't Have The Slightest Interest In Running For Public Office. I'd Rather Make Jokes About Politicians Than Become One Of Them.

Happiness Is Sitting Down To Watch Some Slides Of Your Neighbor's Vacation And Finding Out That He Spent Two Weeks In A Nudist Colony.