Only Lie About The Future.

An Oxymoron? What's That? A Moron Who Studies At Oxford?

I'm An Entertainer; I Try To Give The Public What It Wants While I'm On The Screen, And I'm Completely Sincere About It. If I Don't Happen To Be A Laughing Boy Off The Screen, That Doesn't Make Me A Hypocrite Or A Phony.

Only Lie About The Future.

Never Ask Your Wife If She Still Hears From Her Old Pimp.

The Closest Thing To Roseanne Barr's Singing The National Anthem Was My Cat Being Neutered.