The Only Way I Could Get Comfortable

At The Request Of The Catholic Church, A Three-day Sex Orgy To Be Held Near Rio De Janeiro Was Cancelled Last Friday. So Instead I Spent The Weekend Cleaning My Apartment.

I Was Like, Oh, I Want To Sign Up For "catwoman," And Then Anne Hathaway Had Already Signed Up For It.

Instead Of Trying To Fit An Impossible Ideal, I Took A Personal Inventory Of All My Healthy Body Parts For Which I Am Grateful: Straight Greek Eyebrows. They Start At The Hairline At My Temple And, Left Unchecked, Will Grow Straight Across My Face And Onto Yours.

Wafah Dufour Bin Laden, Niece Of Osama Bin Laden Has Signed A Contract To Star In A Reality Show... Called Skating With The Nieces Of Terrorists.

I Am Constantly Amazed By Tina Fey. And I Am Tina Fey.