The Only Way To Survive Is To

Humor's A Weapon If You Want To Make It One.

Stammering Is Different Than Stuttering. Stutterers Have Trouble With The Letters, While Stammerers Trip Over Entire Parts Of A Sentence. We Stammerers Generally Think Of Ourselves As Very Bright. My Own Private Theory Is That Stammerers Have So Many Ideas Swirling Around Their Brains At Once That They Can't Get Them All Out, Though I Haven't Found Any Scientific Evidence To Back That Up.

I Think That What Comes Through In Chicago Humor Is The Affection. Even Though Youre Poking Fun At Someone Or Something, Theres Still An Affection For It.

I Feel More Comfortable In Comedy.

I'm One Of Those Passengers Who Arrives At The Airport Five Or Six Hours Early So I Can Throw Back A Few Drinks And Muster Up The Courage To Board The Plane. Apparently I'm Not Alone Because I've Never Been In An Empty Airport Bar. I Don't Care What Time You Get There. Even At 8:00 A.m. You Have To Fight Your Way To The Bar. At That Hour, Everyone Drinks Bloody Marys So No One Can Tell It's Booze- At Least Until They Fall Off Their Chair.