The Other Night A Mugger Took Off

I Got My First Break And Became A Singing Waiter At Eighteen Or Nineteen. I Couldn't Make A Living At It. I Quit. Then I Got Married And Sold Aluminum Siding. My Wife Had Problems Physically. It Was Not Good.

You Can Name Your Own Salary In This Business. I Call Mine Fred.

My Wife Made Me Join A Bridge Club... I Jump Off Next Tuesday.

I Know I'm Not Sexy. In High School I Was Voted Most Likely To Masturbate.

You Know You're Old When Your Family Talk About You In Front Of You. What Are We Going To Do With Pop? We Have Company Tonight.