The Other Night A Mugger Took Off

My Parents Didn't Like Me. For Bathtub Toys They Gave Me A Blender And A Transistor Radio.

Once When I Was Lost I Asked A Policeman To Help Me Find My Parents. I Said To Him, 'do You Think We'll Ever Find Them?' He Answered, 'i Don't Know, Kid. There Are So Many Places They Can Hide.

I Tell Ya, I Knew My Morning Wasn't Going Right. When I Put On My Shirt The Button Fell Off, When I Picked Up My Briefcase, The Handle Fell Off, I Tell Ya, I Was Afraid To Go To The Bathroom.

When We Got Married, The First Thing My Wife Did Was Put Everything Under Both Names - Hers And Her Mother's.

We Learned Sexual Technique From Our Dog. He Taught How To Beg, And He Taught My Wife How To Roll Over And Play Dead.