When I Was A Kid My Parents

When I Was Born The Doctor Took One Look At My Face, Turned Me Over And Said, "look, Twins!"

I Was Making Love To This Girl And She Started Crying. I Said, "are You Going To Hate Yourself In The Morning?" She Said, "no, I Hate Myself Now."

I Tell Ya, It's Tough To Save A Buck. Right Now I'm Supporting Two Fighters. My Wife And Her Mother.

My Wife Met Me At The Door The Other Night In A Sexy Negligee. Unfortunately, She Was Just Coming Home.

My Kid Wants To Be A Prison Warden When He Grows Up So He Can Put Thumb Tacks On The Electric Chairs.