The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword,

The Cost Of Living Keeps Going Up, Although Death Is Surprisingly Affordable.

Like O'rielly, We'll Grab The Most Important Word Of Each Sentence... 'the' For Example. Also, I'll Say, 'i'm Angry,' And The Graphic Will Read, 'colbert Angry.

Can't Wait For Tomorrow When I Get To Exercise My Patriotic Duty As An American: Complaining About How Long It's Taking To Vote.

America Cannot Afford A Rally To Restore Sanity In The Middle Of A Recession. Did You Even Consider How Many Panic-related Jobs That Might Cost Us In The Fear-industrial Complex?

Cain Understands Domestic Issues Because He Had Experience Selling Pizza; And He Understands International Issues Because Pizza Is Italian.