The Problem With This World Is, Everyone

I Hate Funerals. They Aren't For The Guy Who's Dead. They're For The Guys Who Are Left Alive And Enjoy Mourning.

I Made More Lousy Pictures Than Any Actor In History.

[on The House Un-american Activities Committee] They'll Nail Anyone Who Ever Scratched His Ass During The National Anthem.

What's At The End Of A Million Dollars? Zero, Zero, Zero... Nothing. A Circle With A Hole In It.

I Gave Up Drinking Once -- It Was The Worst Afternoon Of My Entire Life.