The Shape I'm In, I Could Donate

When I Was A Kid My Parents Moved A Lot, But I Always Found Them.

At My Age I'm Envious Of A Stiff Wind.

When I Was Kidnapped As A Child My Parents Sent A Letter To The Hijackers Me Pay 5,000 Dollars Or Your Back

It Would Be Great If People Never Got Angry At Someone For Doing Something They've Done Themselves.

My Kid Wants To Be A Prison Warden When He Grows Up So He Can Put Thumb Tacks On The Electric Chairs.