The Surest Way To Make A Monkey

You Want To Go Easy On The Suicide Stuff - First Thing You Know, You'll Ruin Your Health.

If There Is A Streak Of Ham Anywhere In An Actor, Shakespeare Will Bring It Out.

If Shakespeare Were Alive Today And Writing Comedy For The Movies, He Would Be The Head-liner For The Mack Sennett Studios.

One Of The Easiest Forms Of Pretense To Break Down Is The Pretense Of Enthusiasm For Exotic Foods. Just Bring On The Exotic Foods.

I Have Been Told By Hospital Authorities That More Copies Of My Works Are Left Behind By Departing Patients Than Those Of Any Other Author.