The Theater Is A Great Equalizer: It

Parades Should Be Classed As A Nuisance And Participants Should Be Subject To A Term In Prison. They Stop More Work, Inconvenience More People, Stop More Traffic, Cause More Accidents, Entail More Expense, And Commit And Cause I Don't Remember The Other Hundred Misdemeanors.

The South Is Dry And Will Vote Dry. That Is, Everybody That Is Sober Enough To Stagger To The Polls Will.

Politicians Are Just A Bunch Of Local Bandits, Sent By Their Local Voters To Raid The Public Treasury.

Pain Is Such An Uncomfortable Feeling That Even A Tiny Amount Of It Is Enough To Ruin Every Enjoyment.

I See Where They Are Going To Be More Strict With These Robbers; When They Catch 'em From Now On, They're Going To Publish Their Names.