The Time You Spend Grieving Over A

I Can See Close Up And My Husband Can See Far Away, So We're Covered. He Tells Me Who's In The Movie And I Tell Him What's In His Sandwich. Together We're Human Bifocals.

Someday I Want To Be Rich. Some People Get So Rich They Lose All Respect For Humanity. That's How Rich I Want To Be.

Waiters And Waitresses Are Becoming Nicer And Much More Caring. I Used To Pay My Check, They Would Say "thank You." That's Now Escalated Into "you Care Care Of Yourself, Now." The Other Day I Paid My Check And The Waiter Said, "don't Put Off That Mammogram."

Oh, My God. I've Just Told You How Old I Am. Nobody Knows How Old I Am. I'm Going To Have To Kill You Now.

When I Want To End A Relationship I Just Say, 'you Know, I Love You. I Want To Marry You. I Want To Have Your Children.' Sometimes They Leave Skid Marks.