The Time You Spend Grieving Over A

Men Have An Easier Time Buying Bathing Suits. Women Have Two Types: Depressing And More Depressing. Men Have Two Types: Nerdy And Not Nerdy.

Nobody Is Really Happy With What's On Their Head. People With Straight Hair Want Curly, People With Curly Want Straight, And Bald People Want Everyone To Be Blind.

I'll Never Understand Why People Go To Movie Theaters To Have Conversations. Going To The Movies To Talk Is Like Going To A Restaurant To Cook. The Idea Is That You Have Paid Your Money To Have Someone Do Something Better Than You Can Do It Yourself.

I Paid Attention To Not Being A Comedian, And Just Concentrated On Being Who I Was. That Is What You Have To Do. If You Say You Are A Comedian That Has Been Done Before. If You Just Be Who You Are Then You Are Unique. Everyone Is Unique.

If You Buy Your Husband Or Boyfriend A Video Camera, For The First Few Weeks He Has It, Lock The Door When You Go To The Bathroom. Most Of My Husband's Early Films End With A Scream And A Flush.