The World Is So Ass-backwards It Almost

Maybe Democrats Will Eventually Turn On Obamacare When They Realize You Might Need A Photo I.d. To Participate In The Program.

Why Is Electricity So Expensive These Days? Why Does It Cost So Much For Something I Can Make With A Balloon And My Hair?

After 7 Years Of Marriage, I Am Sure Of 2 Things: First, Never Wallpaper Together And Second, You'll Need 2 Bathrooms . . . Both For Her. The Rest Is A Mystery, But A Mystery I Love To Be Involved In.

The Way I've Always Governed My Life As Far As Fiscal Policy Goes Is I'm Smart Enough To Know That I'm Dumb About It, So I Surround Myself With Smart People In Much The Same Way A Hole Surrounds Itself With A Doughnut. I Just Pay Things Off. That's All I Do.

That Punt Was Higher Than Marion Berry On A Fact-finding Tour Of Cartagena.