The Worst Thing You Can Be Is

You Worry Too Much. Eat Some Bacon...what? No, I Got No Idea If It'll Make You Feel Better, I Just Made Too Much Bacon.

Eventually, Though, I Came To The Conclusion That I Was The Male Equivalent Of A Toyota Camry. You Know: No One Ever Says, "i Have To Have A Toyota Camry." But Most People Who Spend Some Time In A Camry Start To Like It. "it's Pretty Reliable," They Think. "it Doesn't Have A Lot Of Problems, And It's Not Bad To Look At. You Know What? I'd Probably Prefer A Nicer Car. But I Can Live With A Camry.

The Worst Thing You Can Be Is A Liar. . . . Okay, Fine, Yes, The Worst Thing You Can Be Is A Nazi, But Then Number Two Is Liar. Nazi One, Liar Two.

[the] Majority Of The Girls Working There Had Major Emotional Problems. And Not Cries-too-much Emotional Problems; More Like Stabs-her-boyfriend-with-a-steak-knife-then-falls-into-a-corner-and-starts-whispering-to-herself Emotional Problems.

I Just Wanted To Compile These Stories About Growing Up With My Father And I Wanted People To Be Able To Enjoy Them Individually, But Also The Entire Book As A Whole.