There Is A Remote Tribe That Worships

I Was Sat At The Bottom Of The Garden A Week Ago, Smoking A Reflective Cheroot, Thinking About This And That - Mostly That, And I Just Happened To Glance At The Night Sky And I Marvelled At The Millions Of Stars Glistening Like Pieces Of Quicksilver Thrown Carelessly Onto Black Velvet. In Awe I Watched The Waxen Moon Ride Across The Zenith Of The Heavens Like An Amber Chariot Towards The Void Of Infinite Space Wherein The Tethered Bolts Of Jupiter And Mars Hang Forever In Their Orbital Majesty; And As I Looked At All This, I Thought, 'i Must Put A Roof On This Lavatory.

My Mother-in-law Had To Stop Skipping For Exercise. It Registered Seven On The Richter Scale.

I Discovered The Wife's Got Asthma. Thank God - I Thought She Was Hissing At Me.

I Saw Six Men Kicking And Punching The Mother-in-law. My Neighbour Said 'are You Going To Help?' I Said 'no, Six Should Be Enough.'

I've Got A Friend Who Is A Lion Tamer. He Used To Be A School Teacher Till He Lost His Nerve.