I've Got A Friend Who Is A

I Took The Wife's Family Out For Tea Biscuits. They Weren't Too Happy About Having To Give Blood Though.

The Mother-in-law Came Round Last Week. It Was Absolutely Pouring Down. So I Opened The Door And I Saw Her There And I Said, 'mother, Don't Just Stand There In The Rain. Go Home.'

I Toyed With The Idea Of Playing Ravel's 'pavane Pour Une Infante Defunte' But I Couldn't Remember If It's A Tune Or Latin Prescription For Piles.

I'm Often Accused Of Saying Some Pretty Rotten Things About My Mother-in-law. But Quite Honestly, She's Only Got One Major Fault - It's Called Breathing.

Last Year My Wife Ran Off With The Fellow Next Door And I Must Admit, I Still Miss Him.