These Pretzels Are Making Me Thirsty!

What's The Point Of Dating Without Games? How Do You Know If You're Winning Or Losing?

I Don't Return Fruit. Fruit's A Gamble. I Know That Going In.

I Do Not Know Why Anyone Would Host An Awards Show. No Matter How Unbelievably Well You Do At It, The Only Thing That Can Happen Is You Get Asked Again To Host An Awards Show.

Sometimes I Think More Creativity Is Put Into Muffin Recipes Than Into The Rest Of Society Combined.

Why Is It Illegal To Park In A Handicapped Parking Space But Okay To Go The Bathroom In A Handicapped Stall?