They Change The Sheets Every Day... From

During Sex, My Girlfriend Always Wants To Talk To Me… Just The Other Night She Called Me From A Hotel.

With Me, Nothing Goes Right. My Psychiatrist Said My Wife And I Should Have Sex Every Night. Now, We'll Never See Each Other!

My Wife Wants Sex In The Back Of The Car And She Wants Me To Drive.

I Started Over Again With An Image: Nothing Goes Right. Then When The Godfather Came Out, All I Heard Was, Show Respect. With Me, You Show Respect. So I Changed The Image To I Don't Get No Respect. I Tried It Out In Greenwich Village. I Remember The First Joke I Told: Even As A Kid, I'd Play Hide And Seek And The Other Kids Wouldn't Even Look For Me. The People Laughed. After The Show, They Started Saying To Me, Me, Too - I Don't Get No Respect. I Figured, Let's Try It Again.

I Met The Surgeon General - He Offered Me A Cigarette.