This Is My First Week As An

Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving.

Sober Alkies Are Often Asked: "when Did You Hit Rock Bottom?" But A More Informed Question Might Be: "how Many Times Did You Hit Rock Bottom?

The Idea Of Having Australians Upset At Me Is Just Awful.

Valentine's Day Is Celebrated A Little Differently Here In L.a. Nobody Eats Chocolate Because Of The Calories, So People Give Each Other Tofu-shaped Boxes Filled With Bean Curd. Then They Fantasize About What Their Pilates Instructor Would Be Like If He Was Straight.

My Pilot's License. I'm Proud Of That.