To A Newspaperman, A Human Being Is

An Actor's Popularity Is Fleeting. His Success Has The Life Expectancy Of A Small Boy Who Is About To Look Into A Gas Tank With A Lighted Match.

Ed Sullivan Will Be Around As Long As Someone Else Has Talent.

I Have Just Returned From Boston. It Is The Only Thing To Do If You Find Yourself Up There.

There Are Two Kinds Of Jokes - Funny Jokes And Jack Benny Jokes.

Life, In My Estimation, Is A Biological Misadventure That We Terminate On The Shoulders Of Six Strange Men Whose Only Objective Is To Make A Hole In One With You.