To A Newspaperman, A Human Being Is

He Dreamed He Was Eating Shredded Wheat And Woke Up To Find The Mattress Half Gone.

We Are Living In The Machine Age. For The First Time In History The Comedian Has Been Compelled To Supply Himself With Jokes And Comedy Material To Compete With The Machine. Whether He Knows It Or Not, The Comedian Is On A Treadmill To Oblivion.

With The Advance Of Refrigeration, I Hope That Along With The Frozen Foods Someday We Will Have Frozen Conversation. A Person Will Be Able To Keep A Frozen Promise Indefinitely.

A Committee Is A Group Of The Unprepared, Appointed By The Unwilling To Do The Unnecessary.

There Are Two Kinds Of Jokes - Funny Jokes And Jack Benny Jokes.