Today's Ballroom Dances Like The Swim, The

Jimmy Stewart Could Have Been A Good Golfer, But He Speaks So Slowly That By The Time He Yells 'fore!' The Guy He's Hit Is Already In An Ambulance On The Way To The Hospital.

The Place Was So British, I Wouldn't Have Been Surprised If The Mice Wore Monocles.

I Like A President Who Tells Jokes Instead Of Appointing Them.

As The Colonel And I Sat Swapping Stories In The Plane, A Jet Aircraft Buzzed Past Our Window. I Asked The Colonel What Type Of Aircraft It Was, And He Said, "don't Worry About It, Bob. . . If You Can See It, It's Obsolete."

It's So Cold Here In Washington, D.c., That Politicians Have Their Hands In Their Own Pockets.