Totie Fields Is One Of My Benchmarks

I’ve Killed Myself So Many Times, I Don’t Even Exist Anymore.

And I Don't Like To Work. I Only Like Working When I'm Working.

I Kinda Like This Jay-z Thing, Where He’s Retired, But He Keeps Doing Shows. I Think I Beat Him To That. If You Say You’re Retired, People Don’t Bother You So Much, And Then If You Want To Do Something, You Can Do It.

Now, The Essence, The Very Spirit Of Christmas Is That We First Make Believe A Thing Is So, And Lo, It Presently Turns Out To Be So. - Stephen Leacockof Christmas Trees Around The House, So It Smells Good.

Parties Are Only Bad When A Fight Breaks Out, When Men Fight Over Women Or Vice Versa. Someone Takes A Fall, An Ambulance Comes, And The Police Arrive. If You Can Avoid Those Things, Pretty Much All Behaviour Is Acceptable.