Twitter! Never Have Lives Been Less Lived

It's A Cocktail-party Circuit In D.c., That Guy Who Couldn't Master The Guitar And Get In A Band And Get Laid, He Ends Up There. Gary Condit Make Sense To Me. He's Away From His Family, He's In D.c. - If He Was A Car Dealer In The [san Fernando] Valley Somewhere Out There, He'd Be The Guy Who Was Trying To Get Laid By Offering You The Free Undercoating Package.

So Who's The Big Red Menace Nowadays? Cuba. That's It? I'm Sorry, But It's Hard To Whip Up Any Us Against Them Nationalist Fervor About A Country Whose Principal Export Is Citizens Who Can Swim.

A Recent Police Study Found That You're Much More Likely To Get Shot By A Fat Cop If You Run.

Should I Really Care What Kind Of Beer Frogs Recommend?

Is It Just Me, Or Are The 49ers Doing An Awful Lot Of Ass-patting Today?