We Worship Education But Hate Learning.

I Simply Like Guns Because You Can't Shoot People Without Them.

God May Have Loved The Common People, But A Trip To Any Shopping Mall Suggests That He Made Far Too Many Of Them.

Southerners Have A Genius For Psychological Alchemy...if Something Intolerable Simply Cannot Be Changed, Driven Away Or Shot They Will Not Only Tolerate It But Take Pride In It As Well.

If We Define A Misanthrope As 'someone Who Does Not Suffer Fools And Likes To See Fools Suffer,' We Have Described A Person With Something To Look Forward To.

Any Discussion Of The Problems Of Being Funny In America Will Not Make Sense Unless We Substitute The Word Wit For Humor. Humor Inspires Sympathetic Good-natured Laughter And Is Favored By The Healing-power Gang. Wit Goes For The Jugular, Not The Jocular, And It's The Opposite Of Football; Instead Of Building Character, It Tears It Down.