Welcome To The Academy Awards, Or, As

It's So Cold Here In Washington, D.c., That Politicians Have Their Hands In Their Own Pockets.

I Left England When I Was Four Because I Found Out I Could Never Be King.

The Audience Was Swell. They Were So Polite They Covered Their Mouths When They Yawned.

I Don't Do A Lot Of Political Jokes. Too Many Are Getting Elected.

The Firm Is Really Ahead Of The Times. It Has A Stock Market Ticker That Prints Its Report On Thin Aspirins.