Well, I Play Jews And Parrots. Parrots

People Have Many Theories About Comedy, But Being Just Plain Funny Is The One Most Important Thing.

Some Comedians Tell Nice Jokes That You Can Tell To Your Kids. Some Use Bad Words - They Work 'blue.' If You Don't Want To Hear A Joke That's Blue, You Shouldn't Go To A Comedy Club Where A Comedian Who Makes Blue Jokes Is Performing.

I Guess If They Ever Do A Remake Of 'sophie's Choice,' I Could Play The Meryl Streep Part. I've Got To Work On My Polish Accent. Maybe I'll Be The Definitive King Lear One Day. You Know, If They Ever Feel That King Lear Should Be More Jewy.

I've Never Been One Of Those Who Wanted To Fill My Calendar Up 90 Percent Of The Time.

I Just Don't Accept Midgets As Human Beings. There's Only So Much Political Correctness I Can Accept.