What A Dog I Got, He Found

When My Parents Got Divorced, There Was A Custody Fight Over Me. ... And No One Showed Up.

Last Time I Tried To Make Love To My Wife Nothing Happened, So I Said To Her, 'what's The Matter, You Can't Think Of Anybody Either?'

I Asked My Wife, 'is There Somebody Else?' She Said, 'there Must Be.'

In High School, When I Played Football I Got No Respect. I Shared A Locker With A Mop.

I Was Making Love To This Girl And She Started Crying. I Said, "are You Going To Hate Yourself In The Morning?" She Said, "no, I Hate Myself Now."