What A Dog I Got, He Found

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. When I Went On The Roller Coaster, My Old Man Told Me To Stand Up Straight.

I Was An Ugly Kid; When I Was Born, After The Doctor Cut The Cord, He Hung Himself.

I Came From A Real Tough Neighborhood. On My Street, The Kids Take Hubcaps - From Moving Cars.

My Wife She's Fat. Why, If She Lost A Few Pounds, She'd Be Perfectly Round.

Last Year My Birthday Cake Looked Like A Prairie Fire.