What Happens In Vegas, Stays In Vegas

Professional Comedians, Surprisingly, Have A Lack Of Humor. They're Insensitive To The Insanity Of Our Times.

If Someone Were To Ask Me For A Short Cut To Sensuality, I Would Suggest He Go Shopping For A Used 427 Shelby-cobra. But It Is Only Fair To Warn You That Of The 300 Guys Who Switched To Them In 1966, Only Two Went Back To Women.

Obama Is Running Again For Spite.

I Made The Mistake Early In My Career, When I Moved To Hollywood, Of Being Attracted To Actresses. I Used To Go Out Exclusively With Actresses And Other Female Impersonators.

If You Can't Join Them, Beat Them.