What Happens In Vegas, Stays In Vegas

In The Forties, To Get A Girl You Had To Be A Gi Or A Jock. In The Fifties, To Get A Girl You Had To Be Jewish. In The Sixties, To Get A Girl You Had To Be Black. In The Seventies, To Get A Girl You've Got To Be A Girl.

If You Were The Only Person Left On The Planet, I Would Have To Attack You. That's My Job.

A Yuppie Is Someone Who Believes It's Courageous To Eat In A Restaurant That Hasn't Been Reviewed Yet.

New Book On Malcolm X Says We Don't Know How He Was Killed. Want To Bring In The Fbi. Maybe They Were In Already.

Will Rogers…used To Come Out With A Newspaper And Pretend He Was A Yokel Criticizing The Intellectuals Who Ran The Government. I Come Out With A Newspaper And Pretend I’m An Intellectual Making Fun Of The Yokels Running The Government.