What Happens In Vegas, Stays In Vegas

Every Time The Russians Throw An American In Jail, The Committee Throws An American In Jail To Get Even.

My Life Needs Editing.

I Watched Ken Burns' Civil War Series On Pbs. My Favorite Segment Is When Bob Hope Entertains The Troops At Gettysburg.

If Anybody Comes Up To You And Says, My Kid Is A Conservative - Why Is That? You Say, Remember In The 60′s When We Told You If You Kept Using Drugs Your Kids Would Be Mutants?

People Tell Me There Are A Lot Of Guys Like Me, Which Doesn't Explain Why I'm Lonely.