What Is "martinizing" And Why Does It

Tea Party Has Now Cost The Republicans 5 Senate Seats. My Next Donation Is Going To Them.

New Rule: Food Companies Must Face The Facts: One Container Equals One Serving. Look, We’re Americans, And That Means Once We Open The Bag, There’s No Stopping Us Until We’re Licking Stray Bits Of Powdered Cheese Off The Carpet. So Stop Trying To Give Us Nutritional Information Based On A Fraction Of The Package. It Assumes A Talent For Two Things That We’re Really Not Capable Of: Restraint And Math.

To Even Win A Nomination In This Country, You Have To Say You're A Person Of Great Faith. You Have To Pledge To The People Out There That You Put Your Faith In Things That Are Unable To Be Proven - That You Suspend Critical Thinking As The Way To Go.

If It Makes You Feel Any Better We Will Be Happy To Attack A Country That Had Nothing To Do With It.

Officials Believe That One Of The Terrorists Was A Woman. And There Are Female Suicide Bombers. It's Just That Their Reward In Paradise Is A Little Different. Instead Of Getting 72 Virgins, They Get 72 Guys Who Just Listen.