Whatever It Is You Want To Do,

I Felt I'd Earned The Good Housekeeping Seal When I Designed An Oval-shaped Spaghetti Pot, Because Spaghetti Is Long.

I Don't Have To Write Jokes. I Don't Have To Write Insults. If You Ask The Man Of The Hour In The Hot Seat, My Mere Existence Is Clearly Insult Enough.

My Mom Worked In Restaurants For 60 Years, And What I Learned From Her Is A Lot. But If I Had To Boil It Down, Take Your Work Very Seriously, But Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously. Work Harder Than Everyone Else And Never Complain About It. Don't Go To Bed If You're Not Proud Of The Product Of Your Day; Stay Awake Until You Are.

I Measure In My Palm And Use My Eyes To Estimate Amounts; A Tablespoon Is A Full Palm Of Dried Spices.

Whatever It Is You Want To Do, Take A Job In That Field. You Will Learn By Experience And, Slow And Steady, You'll Get It Done!