Whatever The Problem, Be Part Of The

If Everyone Had A Dad Like Mine, No One Would Have Sex Tapes.

Every Morning, When Alaskans Wake Up, One Of The First Things They Do, Is Look Outside To See If There Are Any Russians Hanging Around. And If There Are, You Gotta Go Up To Them And Ask, 'what Are You Doing Here?' And If They Can't Give You A Good Reason, It's Our Responsibility To Say, You Know, 'shoo! Get Back Over There!'

A Wise Friend Once Told Me, 'don't Wear What Fashion Designers Tell You To Wear. Wear What They Wear.'

Seriously, I've Just Realized That Almost Everyone Is A Fraud, So I Try Not To Feel Too Bad About It.

Every Kid Has Something They're Good At, That You Hope They Find And Gravitate Toward.