When Another Comedian Has A Lousy Show,

I Feel Responsible For Johnny Ray's Success. See Many Years Ago I Asked Him To Be On My Show And He Asked For A Lot Of Money And I Cried. And He Stole That From Me.

Give Me Golf Clubs, Fresh Air And A Beautiful Partner, And You Can Keep The Clubs And The Fresh Air.

Comedy Itself Is Based Upon Very Old Principles Of Which I Can Readily Name Seven. They Are, In Short: The Joke, Exaggeration, Ridicule, Ignorance, Surprise, The Pun, And Finally, The Comic Situation.

When You Talk About The World's Greatest Entertainer You Have To Say Al Jolson Because There Was No One Like Him. Only Judy Garland And Perhaps Frank Sinatra Got Anywhere Near Him!

I Took My Girl To Dinner, And She Laughed So Hard At One Of My Jokes That She Dropped Her Tray.