When Clinton Said He Was Going To

Heating Bills This Winter Are The Highest They've Been In Five Years, But President Bush Has A Plan To Combat Rising Bills. It's Called Global Warming.

Oscar Nominations Came Out Today. Up For Best Actor, Sean Penn For 'mystic River,' Jude Law For 'cold Mountain,' And Of Course, George W. Bush For 'iraqi Weapons Of Mass Destruction.'

When Rick Perry Was Told About Kim Jong Il, He Said, 'i Never Heard Of Him, But Then Again, I Don't Listen To That Rap.'

It's Cold Out. It's Even Cold In Florida. So Cold Today That Katherine Harris Put On A Third Layer Of Makeup.

A Pakistan Businessman Is Claiming That John Walker Lindh Is Gay And That He Was His Lover. Say What You Will About Lindh, But When This Guy Goes To Play For The Other Team - He Goes All The Way ... So Lindh May Be Both A Terrorist And A Gay Man. That May Be John Ashcroft's Worst Nightmare.