When Four Or More Men Get Together,

I'll Never Understand Why People Go To Movie Theaters To Have Conversations. Going To The Movies To Talk Is Like Going To A Restaurant To Cook. The Idea Is That You Have Paid Your Money To Have Someone Do Something Better Than You Can Do It Yourself.

Only Men Who Have Worn A Ski Suit Understand How Complicated It Is For A Woman To Go To The Bathroom When She's Wearing A Jumpsuit.

I Can See Close Up And My Husband Can See Far Away, So We're Covered. He Tells Me Who's In The Movie And I Tell Him What's In His Sandwich. Together We're Human Bifocals.

Los Angeles Is A Very Transient Town. It's The Only Place I Know Where You Can Actually Rent A Dog.

I Love To Shop After A Bad Relationship. I Don't Know. I Buy A New Outfit And It Makes Me Feel Better. It Just Does. Sometimes I See A Really Great Outfit, I'll Break Up With Someone On Purpose.