When Four Or More Men Get Together,

Men Who Consistently Leave The Toilet Seat Up Secretly Want Women To Get Up To Go The Bathroom In The Middle Of The Night And Fall In.

Men Accept Compliments Much Better Than Women Do. Example: "mitch, You Look Great." Mitch: "thanks." On The Other Side: "ruth, You Look Great." Ruth: "i Do? Must Be The Lighting."

All Men Are Afraid Of Eyelash Curlers. They Don't Understand Them, And They Don't Want To Get Near Them. I Sleep With One Under My Pillow, Instead Of A Gun.

I Suffer From Peroxide Phobia. Every Time I've Gotten Near A Blond Woman, Something Of Mine Has Disappeared. Jobs, Boyfriends... One Time An Angora Sweater Leaped Right Off My Body.

My Father Was Never Very Friendly. When I Was Growing Up, I Thought The Doorbell Ringing Was A Signal To Pretend You Weren't Home.