When I Do Something Good, The Audience

My Mother Is The Kind Of Woman You Don't Want To Be In Line Behind At The Supermarket. She Has Coupons For Coupons.

The Only Reaction That Frightens Me Is People Not Laughing. It's Extraordinary To Me When You Get A Laugh. That You Can Go In Front Of A Bunch Of People You Never Met Before, You Can Say Some Stuff And They All Laugh In Unison - That's Amazing. It's A Miracle.

If Bill Gates Woke Up With Oprah's Money He'd Jump Out The Window.

I've Been Married For 10 Years And, You Know, It's Hard, You Spruce It Up And You Go Places. How Do You Spruce Up Anything? Artificially. You Go Places And Do Things.

Nobody's About Saving Anymore. No One Cares About A Rainy Day Anymore. Nobody Saves Up Enough For Even An Umbrella For A Rainy Day. It's Sad. It Really Is A New Form Of Slavery. We Used To Work To Be Able To Afford Material Things. Now We Work For These Things. They're The Boss. That House You Can't Afford, That Car That's Out Of Your Price Range, That Cellphone That Drains Your Bank Account - That's Your Boss.