When I Stub My Toe It's Like

To Me, Comedy Is A Game.

I Wonder How They Deal With Mice At Disney World.

The Thing About Glitter Is If You Get It On You, Be Prepared To Have It On You Forever. Because Glitter Doesn't Go Away. Glitter Is The Herpes Of Craft Supplies.

Whenever I See An Autobiography For Sale In The Book Store I Just Flip To The About The Author Section. I'm Like, "done, Next!"

The Problem With My Balloon Collection Is That People Always Think There's A Party. Settle Down. It's Not A Party. It's Just Balloons.