When I Was Seven, I Broke My

I Know Her In The Biblical Senseand When I Say That, I Mean I Don't Believe A Word She Says.

I Think The Reason I Became Funny Was Because If I Made People Laugh, They Would Let Me Keep Talking.

My Sister Just Had A Baby, A Little Newborn. The Kid Is Adorable, So Cute. She Wouldn't Let Me Hold Him, She Refuses. She Says, 'no Way, Anthony, I'm Afraid You're Gonna Drop Him.' I'm 32 Years Old. Like I'm Some Kind Of Idiot. Like I Don't Have A Million Other Ways To Hurt That Baby.

It Seemed Fun To Play A Villain On Stage And I Wanted My Jokes To Be So Good That I Could Just Calmly Tell Them On Stage.

Tom Cruise's Pre-nup Lets Him Keep His Money, The Kids And Katie Holmes.