When Virtues Are Pointed Out First, Flaws

The Etiquette Question That Troubles So Many Fastidious People New Year's Day Is: How Am I Ever Going To Face Those People Again?

I Have Always Believed That The Key To A Happy Marriage Was The Ability To Say With A Straight Face, 'why, I Don't Know What You're Worrying About. I Thought You Were Very Funny Last Night And I'm Sure Everybody Else Did, Too.

We Have The Reverse Of The Puritan Work Ethic In America Now. No One Ever Becomes A Star By Plugging Along Year After Year. What Is Needed Is Flair, Talent, 'an Eye,' Contacts, Charisma, And, Most Of All, Naturalness.

It Is A Widespread And Firm Belief Among Guests That Their Departure Is Always A Matter Of Distress To Their Hosts, And That In Order To Indicate That They Have Been Pleasantly Entertained, They Must Demonstrate An Extreme Unwillingness To Allow The Entertainment To Conclude. This Is Not Necessarily True.

Should You Happen To Notice That Another Person Is Extremely Tall Or Overweight, Eats Too Much Or Declines Convivial Drinks, Has Red Hair Or Goes About In A Wheelchair, Ought To Get Married Or Ought Not To Be Pregnant -- See If You Can Refrain From Bringing These Astonishing Observations To That Person's Attention.