When We Played The Back End Of

When Jack Benny Has A Party, You Not Only Bring Your Own Scotch, You Bring Your Own Rocks.

People Are Always Asking Me When I'm Going To Retire. Why Should I? I've Got It Two Ways - I'm Still Making Movies, And I'm A Senior Citizen, So I Can See Myself At Half Price.

I Like Women To Be Attracted To Me. See, When You Get 60 Years Old, And They Know You're 60, The Only Women You Can Get Are 55-year-old Women, And I Like Younger Women.

I Don't Have A Drinking Problem. I Drink. I Get Drunk. I Fall Down, No Problem.

I'm Very Pleased To Be Here. Let's Face It, At My Age I'm Very Pleased To Be Anywhere.