Critics Are Eunuchs At A Gang Bang.

I Don't Care What You Do For A Living. If You Love It, You Are A Success.

Take Care Not To Wear Stripes That Are Out Of Sync With Your Wrinkles.

How Can I Die? I'm Booked.

If I Get Big Laughs, I'm A Comedian. If I Get Little Laughs, I'm A Humorist. If I Get No Laughs, I'm A Singer.

Life's But A Day At Most.