Critics Are Eunuchs At A Gang Bang.

Someone Who Makes You Laugh Is A Comedian. Someone Who Makes You Think And Then Laugh Is A Humorist.

I Smoke Ten To Fifteen Cigars A Day. At My Age I Have To Hold On To Something.

If It's A Good Script I'll Do It. And If It's A Bad Script, And They Pay Me Enough, I'll Do It.

Happiness? A Good Cigar, A Good Meal, A Good Cigar And A Good Woman - Or A Bad Woman; It Depends On How Much Happiness You Can Handle.

Be Sure To Wear A Good Cologne, A Nice Aftershave Lotion, And A Strong Underarm Deodorant. And It Might Be A Good Idea To Wear Some Clothes, Too.