When You Have A Baby, Sleep Is

President Obama Became The First Sitting President To Visit A Federal Prison Yesterday. Obama Said It Was A Good Chance To Talk About Prison Reform, And To Catch Up With So Many Former Congressmen.

In A New Interview, The President Discussed The Upcoming Election. He Said That Hillary Clinton Is Going To Do Great As A Presidential Candidate. When Asked How Biden Would Do, Obama Said, 'hillary's Going To Do Great.'

Democrats Have Been Doing Everything They Can To Get Young People And College Students To Vote In The Midterms. Though If You Want Students To Participate In Something, Maybe You Shouldn't Call Them Midterms.

During A Charity Boxing Match On Friday, Mitt Romney Lasted Two Rounds Against Evander Holyfield And Raised A Million Dollars. It Was Just Like Holyfield's Fight With Mike Tyson, Except Romney Chewed Off His Other Ear Talking About His 18 Grandchildren.

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo Just Signed A Bill That Bans Powdered Alcohol From The State. So If You Live In New York And You're Consuming Powdered Alcohol, Your Life Just Somehow Got Even Worse.