Where Do You Go When You Die?

I've Always Wanted To Go To Switzerland To See What The Army Does With Those Wee Red Knives.

,000 People In Hampden Park. Of Course They're All Scottish. Because No One Else Goes There. The English Have An Unwritten Rule: They Only Go To Places They Might Get Back From.

I Always Look Skint. When I Buy A Big Issue, People Take It Out Of My Hand And Give Me A Pound.

Where Do You Go When You Die? The Same Place You Were Before You Were Born; Nowhere! It's Over!

I've Never Done A Comedy Club In My Life. It's Weird Because I Don't Have The Same Background As Most Comics. I Don't Have A History Of Going Up And Only Doing Eight Minutes.