With Girls I Get No Respect. A

I'll Tell Ya, My Wife And I, We Don't Think Alike. She Donates Money To The Homeless, And I Donate Money To The Topless!

My Family Was A Bunch Of Drunks. When I Was Six I Came Up Missing, They Put My Picture On A Bottle Of Scotch.

I Was An Ugly Kid; When I Was Born, After The Doctor Cut The Cord, He Hung Himself.

My Uncle's Dying Wish - He Wanted Me On His Lap. He Was In The Electric Chair.

Cars And Women Are A Lot Alike. They Lie About The Milage.