With Good Parody, You Have To Be

I'm So Excited About The New Ipad, I Just Ipeed My Ipants.

You Know, Where I Come From, An Antique, To Be Called An Antique, It Has To Be At Least A Hundred Years Old. That's A Law: Before You Can Call Something An Antique, It Has To Be A Hundred Years Old. In L.a., Something That's Been Around For A Couple Of Weeks Is An Antique. It's True! People Are Like, Look At This Old-fashioned Ipod. Look At This! It's The Size Of A Man's Hand! Ha Ha Ha Ha. Back Then-back Then, People Thought Mel Gibson Was Just Acting Crazy. It Was A Very Different Time.

He Will Know From And Early Age That Failure Is Not Disgrace. It's Just A Pitch That You Missed, And You'd Better Get Ready For The Next One. The Next One Might Be The Shot Heard Round The World. My Son And I Are Americans, We Prepare For Glory By Failing Until We Don't.

The Universe Is Very, Very Big. It Also Loves A Paradox. For Example, It Has Some Extremely Strict Rules. Rule Number One: Nothing Lasts Forever. Not You Or Your Family Or Your House Or Your Planet Or The Sun. It Is An Absolute Rule. Therefore When Someone Says That Their Love Will Never Die, It Means That Their Love Is Not Real, For Everything That Is Real Dies. Rule Number Two: Everything Lasts Forever.

Another One Of President Barack Obama's Nominees Is Having Tax Issues, Which Proves One Thing: The Democrats Like Raising The Taxes, But They Hate Paying Them.